Day By Day

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Corporatespeak

No doubt all of us are exposed to the mind numbing drivel that populates the corporate world, well most of us, I guess some people do drive dump trucks and aren't trapped in "Town Hall" meetings where upper level management shares the profound and glorious things that they fill their days with while the rest of us keep stoking the fires of industry. Being one of the corporate wage slaves and not a manager I've developed a certain scorn for such blather over the years; I've amused myself mocking it from time to time, playing buzz word bingo and in general attempting to look interested while thinking to myself "these f'ing idiots are playing word games while the place burns down around them".

Recently I came across the best ever in a meeting where we were talking about this coming year's group goals. My manager threw up a slide that contained both this years, and last years group goals for our database engineering counterparts in the Great White North; buried within last years goals was this gem:

Leverage Industry Thought Leadership For Impact


I was stunned, I couldn't form a complete word, my mouth moved and nothing came out. Suddenly I burst out laughing and shrieked WTF does that mean? The group cracked up, pandemonium reigned, some choked on their beverage attempting to keep it separate from their nasal cavities. Hilarity ensued.

I wonder how they scored it?

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